


the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe

by melodypond_thewomanwhomarriedme



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Emotions, F/M, Ficlet, Fluff, Missing Scene, a lot of feelings, tdors 4 - someone i once knew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-04-22 17:42:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22198036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melodypond_thewomanwhomarriedme/pseuds/melodypond_thewomanwhomarriedme
Summary: What if Four and River had a little more time together?
Relationships: Fourth Doctor/River Song, The Doctor/River Song, Twelfth Doctor/River Song (mentioned)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 47





	the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe

**Author's Note:**

> hi! just to give some context if you havent listened to the audio dramas, this is from the ‘Someone I Once Knew’ episode from The Diary of River Song 4. In it, the Discordia (villain) altered the timeline and made a new reality where the doctor and river have basically been together their entire lives but river retains her memory from her actual reality, so she doesnt realise that Four (the doctor featured in the ep) knows her. This takes place right before the Discordia leader decides to erase his entire species from existence, thus setting the reality back on track, meaning that Four won’t know who River is anymore.

_ “ _ ** _Love _ ** _ is the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe and transcends all boundaries.” _

_ -Deepak Chopra _

“We had good times, didn’t we?”

River grins at him despite the tears in her eyes. “The best.”

The Doctor reaches out and clasps River's hand in his as though he's done it a million times before, and River struggles to remember that  _ this  _ Doctor has. To him, they've been married longer than she can remember - they've been in love longer than she’s been alive in her reality. She lets a small smile flit over her face as he tugs on her hand, his ridiculously long scarf flowing around him.

He tugs her closer, and River follows willingly, always happy to go wherever he takes her as long as his arms are around her. She scans this face, his beady eyes filled with warmth from under that unruly mop of dark curls, his mouth twitching into a bittersweet smile River knows all too well is mirrored on her face. 

Darillium had been less than three months ago - her heart still clenches when she thinks about it. The Doctor had promised never to say goodbye to her again - and yet, here she is. 

"Tell me," she says quietly. The Doctor's eyes moves quickly over her face, concern flooding his features when he realises that her eyes are filled with tears. "In this timeline, how did we meet?"

The smile on his face is fond and full of love and adoration, and River feels herself softening instantly. 

"You were a spy for the Time War," he begins, gripping her hand. "I was sent to find you after you went missing. When we first met, you tried to kill me."

She snorts. "Not much change there, then. How many more times did I try to kill you?"

"Oh, countless," he replies, but his eyes are full of mirth. "But it wasn’t really you. The Daleks had taken you to try and turn you against us. I helped you escape, but we realised we couldn’t go back to Gallifrey because they were never believe that you hadn’t been turned while you were imprisoned. So we ran away together."

River’s eyes avert away slightly, feeling trepidation in asking the next question. "How long did that last?"

The Doctor frowns as though the answer should be obvious. "Centuries. We saw the universe together."

River beams at him, pleased with the answer even as her eyebrows shoot up in surprised. "You didn't get bored?"

"Of the universe? Some days. Of you?" The Doctor laughs. "My River, who could ever be bored of you?"

River returns the adoring grin, but it is replaced almost instantly with a sinking feeling when realisation dawns on her. "What happened?"

The Doctor's smile falters and he sighs, averting his eyes away from her own. "We realised that the Discordia were coming after us. We had a row after you insisted on travelling alone for a while even though we’d never been apart for more than a day. You were very stubborn and threatened to leave anyway."

"I did the right thing," River says, more to herself. 

"You always do," the Doctor replies, his smile growing fonder. There is silence between them for a few moments, before he turns his twinkling eyes on her. "And what about in your timeline, sweetie?"

River pauses for a moment, thinking carefully. "It's more or less the same." she shrugs. "But we spend entire months apart sometimes. You once spent a millenia without me."

The Doctor's eyes bulge in shock. "Not willingly, surely?"

"You had no choice," she reassures, thinking about Trenzalore. "You thought our time together had passed. We never met linearly, and it was hard to keep track of everything sometimes."

The Doctor looks at her plainly, and River feels her heart flutter. She had never seen that look in any other face except the one she had most recently left. The love and devotion and plain admiration is written all over his eyes, and she feels her hearts clench painfully as she tries not to think about how this could be the last time her sweetie ever looks at her like a man in love.

"I bet it was worth it," he whispers, a small smile lighting up his face. 

Her smile only grows wider as she nods in agreement. "Every second of it."

He moves in closer to her as he wraps an arm around her, pressing a kiss to her head. "Isn't it just wonderful how we always end up finding each other no matter which timeline we're in?"

"You always said we would," she whispers, leaning her head on his shoulder and scooting closer to him. 

"I'm always right, aren't I?" he asks, looking down at her curls. She rolls her eyes. She breathes out evenly, feeling content in a way that she hasn't been able to since Darillium. "Besides, who knows what I'd become if I never found my wife."

"And who knows what I'd be without you, darling," she says quietly into his shoulder, inhaling the scent of his scarf gratefully and realising with a pang that his smell doesn't change, not in a thousand years. 

"I hope he tells you, whenever he can," he whispers quietly to her, as if telling her a secret. "I hope he tells you that you make him better, and that he loves you with every part of his being. Because I do."

River doesn't answer, her eyes wet. She looks down for a moment. "It's different where I am.  _ We're _ different. We can't see each other all the time and when we do, there are things we can't say to each other." She lifts her head and looks at him, cupping his cheek gently. "You try your best, darling, and that's all I can ask for. You love me in your own special way, and that's all I need. That's all I've ever wanted."

"Then remember, River Song," he says quietly, in the same hushed tones as he leans forward towards her. "Remember that somewhere, in another timeline, your Doctor is telling you that you have both his hearts in your hands. He trusts you, and he loves you, and he tells you that every day, every chance he can. Remember all of that, River."

"How could I forget?" she whispers, her eyes filled with tears as she looks at him. She closes her eyes for a moment, letting a few tears escape as she collects herself. "I don't know when I'll see you again." she confesses, heartbroken. "I have no idea when you'll pop into my life and every time I see you could be the last."

His finger moves over her cheek slowly, wiping away her tears even as his eyes fill. Sighing quietly, he grasps her hand in his tightly. 

"Then we'll make it count, won't we?" he whispers back, pressing his lips to the back of her hand. "We'll make every moment count." 

She nods, attempting to dry her eyes once more. But she can see the Doctor attempting to hold back his own tears to try and comfort her, and that only makes it harder for her to stop. She wishes she could stay here forever, living a linear life with the Doctor, who she's been with since the start of his life. But she knows it's only a dream for her. She'd never been that lucky. 

"I promise to meet you as soon as I can," the Doctor vows to her, and she lets out a tearful laugh. 

He smiles tenderly at her, and she leans in to press a chaste kiss to his lips. When she pulls back, her eyes move over his features, and beneath his eyes she can recognise every face she has loved in her life. She lets out a shaky breath as she moves away from her husband. 

"I'm sorry things have to end this way," he whispers to her. "You deserve a happy ending more than anyone else in the universe, River."

But she can only smile as she thinks about Darillium. "I already had my happy ending, Doctor. Asking for another one seems far too selfish."

"And you are the most selfless person I've ever known," he says, a brilliant smile bright enough to rival the sun shining on his face. "Sometimes it seems that loving you is like loving the sunset itself," he continues, nodding towards the setting sun as she stares at him. "Always beautifully bright and warm, casting a lovely glow over my hearts. Strong and dependable, but fiery and passionate."

"You are a sap," she whispers to him, hiding her face in his shoulder. "A sentimental, idiotic sap." 

He smiles sweetly down at her. "My River," he says softly to her. "Always and completely."


End file.
